does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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