it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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