Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
