I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize