Don't you send me to vm
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
You've changed since you got that strap on
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
