Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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