Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Randomize
