if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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