question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
My dick has a subreddit
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
