remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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