Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
