"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
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