i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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