And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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