they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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