yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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