she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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