I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
