he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
