In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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