he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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