thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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