fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize