Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
