left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
