You're so nebulous sometimes
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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