I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Found the puke drawer
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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