Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
