Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
