i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
