Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
