Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
please come you make the beer taste better
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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