I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
