I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
my sisters under your porch take her home
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
