the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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