so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
