I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Randomize
