I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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