i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
it's great music for shaving your balls
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I just forgot I was standing up.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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