apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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