Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
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