from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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