Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
