suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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