just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
