Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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