Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize
