It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Randomize
