It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
