His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm experimenting with sincerity
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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