Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
