she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
