I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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