i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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