Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
