weddingsv make me drug and hornr
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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