i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
