The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
