Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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