I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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