Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
