Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
