i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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