How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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