Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
