My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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