ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Floor bacon is actually really good
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
