I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
