can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Randomize
