I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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