I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
You did what with his pubic hair?
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